I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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