Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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