Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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