is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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