I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
