Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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