Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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