Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
this just has baby written all over it
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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