Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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