i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
