I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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