He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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