dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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