I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
