sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
