You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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