I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
