No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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