Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
