i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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