Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Randomize
