alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
