i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
it's like iHOP with fire
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
