Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
