My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
