He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
There are leaves in my underwear?
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