its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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