I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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