I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
