Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
