Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
