BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
