The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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