i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
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