I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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