do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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