she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
