so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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