...so i touched it.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
