Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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