you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
