I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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