she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
