North Korea, Best Korea!
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
