just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Someone signed my nipple.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
