names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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