if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
