Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
