Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
