I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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