and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
