Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
