its not stalking. its research.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
