well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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