Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Your mouth is God's brothel.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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