I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
