He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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