i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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