I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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