Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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