Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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