I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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