Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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