just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
are you so shy because you have an std?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize